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The academic year feels like it disappears in the blink of an eye. One minute you have all the time in the world and the next, your kids are already halfway through their first exam. So parents – yes I’m talking to you – get your kid away from the computer, make a cup of tea and get comfortable. This time, I’m going to outline all the ways that you, dear parent, can cope with exam period. The exam period, and the run up to it, is stressful for the whole family. You will want to prevent your home from becoming a battle zone of you nagging and your child ignoring you. I understand the worry, I really do. It becomes a cycle of unanswerable questions: what if my child doesn’t do well enough? How will it affect their lives in the future? What happens if they fail? Or even the little voice at the back of many parents’ heads – How will my child’s grades reflect on me? Shock horror! But, I can guarantee that to even get close to how your children are feeling, you need to magnify every little bit of stress you are feeling by twenty. Your children are stressed too, they are just better at masking it (which can often become a dangerous thing in itself). So the absolute first, and most important thing to do is to breathe in. And then breathe out, count to ten and calm down. I might sound quite patronising, but we all know the golden rule of exam season: if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. And it would be quite inconvenient (for you, not me. I’m probably tutoring someone as you read these words) to have a bunch of parents scrolling through this article and weeping. Although I’m a tutor, I don’t have actually have a teenager (yet) - so you may be thinking “Who is she to be telling us how to behave?” However, I am constantly checking myself and following the priceless advice that I just gave you. I am relentlessly taking deep breaths and counting to ten. I only have a toddler, but even still, I need to disconnect expectations from reality. The main difference between a parent and teenager is emotional intelligence. Us parents have it, and our children are still learning – so how can we use this to help us with exam prep, and get your teenagers actually thanking you? (Don’t wait on it though, it took me 20 years to thank my mother - I was a petulant teenager) Most important of all is to stay externally calm - even if you are shouting “Why aren’t you doing any work?” on the inside. Any additional stress in the household just makes everything harder than it needs to be. Stress begets stress, plus there is nothing like nagging to make a teenager dig their heels in and intentionally defy you. Your calm will be infectious, and will demonstrate trust in your teenager. Help with preparation. You may not be able to help with individual subjects but you can help with how your kid’s time is organised. As parents we have much more experience in this area and that can be valuable. Any parent, by virtue of being a parent, is a skilled organiser and time manager. Sit with them and help them timetable and manage their time. This is the one subject where you will carry weight and authority, but if you do it for them it will seem patronising. Doing this together will allow you to have your input whilst still allowing them to “feel” in charge. Empathise. Your teenager will not believe you if you say “I remember what it was like when…”. But you will have many examples from your current life when you have overcome and pushed through any issues - use these as anecdotes. This vulnerability on your behalf, opens yourself up and shows your teen that you are emotionally available if they need to talk. It is also important to give examples of failure, to show that the world did not end. The aim is to stress the importance of working to your best without mounting up the pressure - their best is all you ask from them. Feed them. Easy, right? It is so important that your children are well fed and watered, especially during exam time. If this is organised into some sort of routine, then it will be easier to fit their study schedule around it. You will also need to arm yourself with a stock of healthy snacks for when they are working - the brain needs good food to function in prime condition. Also, if this is something you are doing in the background they never have to waste time and energy deciding what to eat, it is already sorted. You may scoff, but I used to waste hours and hour staring deeply and lovingly into my fridge - it was (and still is) my favourite form of procrastination. Force them sleep. I know this one is easier said than done, but gentle encouragement is better than nothing. Their brains need time to compartmentalise all the information that they are forcing in there. If they are sleep deprived then this doesn’t happen, which then makes all the revision a little counterproductive. Suggest for mobile devices to be out of the room when it’s time to sleep (also useful to bear in mind as an adult). That way, when your teen is in bed there is nothing better to do than sleep – instead of getting trapped in an endless YouTube saga that ends with you walking into their room in the morning to see them fast asleep with their phone in their hand. Force them to relax. You may be wondering why this is even written here. There are lots of parents whose children are workaholics. They are so determined to get the best grades that this develops into problems ‘turning off’. You may think that this is a ‘productive’ problem to have, but this can be really worrying for your child’s mental health in the long term. Try and make sure your children are having plenty of breaks, and that doesn’t mean taking five minutes to engage with social media on their phone. Doing something physical is best, but anything is better than nothing (walking to the kitchen to get a drink is physical, trust me) and it will help keep anxiety at bay. Be engaged. There is a fine line to walk between nagging and being interested. Try and have an open line of communication with your child throughout the process so that they always know that you’re there and actually interested in something that is taking up such a large portion of their lives. In turn, this should earn their trust. Maybe talk about a book they are reading, or ask about the history they are studying. Keep it light and easy. As well as keeping an open dialogue between you both, it will also encourage them to think about subjects in a different way rather than just cramming the information in. Another way to do this is by watching movies or programmes that relate to what they may be studying. Most importantly, always try to remember the mantra that fits all facets of parenting, this too shall pass!

The internet is filled to the brim with really good information about how to revise and prepare for exams - study techniques and the such. However, what we often overlook are the final moments just before the exam; these moments can easily make or break you. Even the most organised student can lose their mojo at the last minute before an exam. You get sucked into staying up all night, frantically making sure you have everything the next morning, almost missing your bus, reading your text book on the way in, and then finally running to the exam hall with barely enough time to go to the toilet. So here is your guide to the final hours just before the exam to ensure peak performance. This guide does make one assumption, that you have been a proficient studier and are well prepared for the exam. Reality check: if you haven’t studied there is nothing that you can do the day before that is going to save you. The night before the exam stop working nice and early, and by that I mean sometime between 8 to 10pm. This is not the time to pull an all-nighter. Your brain needs time to process and rest before the heavy day ahead. Think of yourself as a runner. The exam is the marathon - there is no athlete that is training late the night before. The body won’t be ready for the coming challenge, instead you’ll just get burnt out. Instead of studying, try to relax and prepare. Tidy your room, set out your clothes and bag for the next day, have a relaxing bath, read your favourite book, but most importantly get a good night’s sleep. Your body and mind need the rest. Also, the night before is not the time to have any new food or something that you know doesn’t agree with you. The last thing you need mid-exam is to be rushing out clutching your stomach! In the morning, get up nice and early so you can approach your day with a degree of calm. Have a relaxing shower and a good breakfast. Try and eat something relatively healthy to sustain you for the exam. The only exception to this rule is if you NEVER eat a healthy breakfast – you don’t want to experiment with Alpen on the morning of your exam. Don’t rush or panic, you need to say as calm as possible, this is where your prep from the night before will help. Once you get to school don’t talk to anybody about the test. What other people know is none of your business and vice versa. This useless chatter just serves to provoke nervousness and fear - two things that you don’t want or need just before your exam. Instead, keep to yourself, stay focused, and if you must chat then keep it light. DO NOT talk about the exam. If you have time to kill and you desperately want to do work then the same applies - keep it light. Look over some flash cards or mind maps. Whatever you do, DO NOT try and learn any new content, it will only serve to confuse you and ultimately make you doubt yourself. Take long calming breaths and massage your hands for the marathon they are about to run. Relax. During the exam, my first piece of advice to you is classic but key - READ THE QUESTION. Obvious right? Obvious but so important that it needs to be repeated - READ THE BLOODY QUESTION . More specifically, read the question, think about what it is asking, then read the question again. Failing to take this advice is a common cause of avoidable mistakes. Students often answer what they want the question to be, rather than what it really is. Once you have read the question try not to rush. I know you are against the clock but the old adage of slow and steady wins the race really is true. If you are slower but methodical with your answers you are less likely to make silly mistakes. Rushing to get finished quickly does not always equal good marks. Once you are going over your answers, never second-guess your knowledge. Your first answer is usually correct - trust your gut. It is so frustrating when I see a correct answer crossed out, only to be replaced with an incorrect one. I can’t take credit for this tip, my old physics teacher gave me it. At the time I didn’t believe him, but as my studies continued I found myself doing it time and time again, until I eventually stopped talking myself out of marks! When the exam is over try and avoid people (I sound antisocial don’t I). You don’t need to chat with friends about what you wrote for question five – dissecting every little detail is not helpful. Firstly, you can’t do anything about it, the exam is over so you should stop thinking about it. Secondly, it eats away at your confidence if your answers differ from your peers. This is especially important if you will be taking another exam shortly after the first one. You need to take care of your anxiety levels, especially if it’s not your last exam. Don’t follow my advice of not talking to anyone after the exam only to have the same conversation in your head. Why are you torturing yourself? Again this is a borrowed tip. Once, when I was walking home after one of my University exams, I was in a cycle of negative thoughts about my performance. I was having an irrational response to what was actually an OK exam, but for some reason I felt like I was failing my degree. Suddenly, an old man stopped me in the street. He told me not to worry as it may never happen, to which I replied that it already had. He sensibly told me that I should be happy that I got through it alive, and the amount you worry doesn’t change the outcome. He told me to save the energy for when you really have something to worry about. I took his advice and he was so right – I ended up getting a first for that module with minimal mental anguish. Once the exam is done, you need to rest. Your brain needs time to relax, unwind, de-stress, recover. This is especially important if you have another exam on the same day; re-fuelling and recovering are vital. Remember to have a positive mantra in the back of your mind because ultimately you’re a proficient studier, right? So make the decision to dump the frantic exam morning in exchange for something much more chilled. You’ve done the work and you’re going to be fine. You’ve got this – now breathe.

The call of universities is loud and travels far. Although it echoes in the ears of parents across the world, for some students that call sounds like the sweet notes of birds singing, and for others, it sounds like a pneumatic drill. For the students struggling with the call of university, it is often the parents that guide their children to answer that call. I’m not sure if this is a generational issue but most parents see university as the only route to success – I include myself in this. I often find myself imagining Ella graduating, and she’s not even in primary school yet! So to all parents (including myself) I’m saying no no no – the days when a student could walk out of University into a job for life are gone for the majority of students. When I was 6 I told my Dad that I wanted to be a bricky, and I was very quickly told that I must have been thinking about being an architect. He told me that if I went to University and studied architecture then I could go on to design buildings. I promptly retorted that I didn’t want to design buildings (to be fair, I don’t think I knew what that meant at the time) and that I wanted to lay the bricks, make the cement and build the wall with my bare hands. “You don’t know what you want Jade - go and play.” Even at the time I remember feeling annoyed at my fathers patronising tone; I knew my own mind. This is one of the first conversations I remember and it had such an impact on me. As time went on any non-academic career choices were slowly ground out of me until academia seemed like my only option. My dreams of becoming a brick-layer were replaced with dreams of becoming a scientist, dreams that sat comfortably with everyone and so, were actively encouraged. Neither of my parents had been to university so it was seen as the holy grail, the rung on the ladder that would propel me to new heights, the only way that I could open all the doors of my dreams – whereas the reality was that it closed me off from my dreams. In the end I went to university and loved it, but the academic route was not for me, so I had to fight my instincts every step of the way. The things that would free my soul were calling to me but I fought the urge to break free of the classic academic shackles. The thing that ended up freeing me was actually my pregnancy – I didn’t want my daughter to see me doing something that was destroying my soul. I wanted her to see that all paths are open, you just have to find a way in. The day I quit my science job and decided to never go back felt like I’d won the lottery – I no longer had to live a lie. I’m no fool, though. My path is not yours, my child is not like yours and visa versa. We have to do what is right for our families. If you child is academically minded embrace it, nurture it. But if they aren’t, embrace and nurture that too - try to free yourself from any academic associations you may have. Happiness in our work ultimately creates a rich life, and I’m not claiming to even know my own destination yet - but the journey is totally worth it.

This question is one that I get asked so frequently that I thought it necessary to address it on paper, and the answer is not as straightforward as you would think. I find that it hinges mostly on the age of your child and the reasons behind you wanting to start tuition. Often, it is simply the fact that all of your child’s peers seem to be tutored in one subject or another, leading you to question yourself. I know many parents who have come to me asking ‘Is my child missing out? Will my child be academically disadvantaged is we don’t find her a tutor?’. Or maybe it is coming up to the dreaded exam season, and the teachers have told you that your daughter/son needs a bit of an extra push. Whatever the reason, I’m going to keep it simple. I’ve broken this article into age specific sections - feel free to jump to the age that applies to you. Before year 4 (ages <8) I personally will not tutor children this age, I feel that they are too young. I’m an advocate of holistically minded tuition, where you bear in mind the whole student (present and future) rather then just the subject or exam. There is so much pressure on children throughout the education system that I don’t want to add to that too early. Also it,s at these ages that parents are still partially idolised by their children, so it is quite easy for parents to intervene at this stage and help. There are of course exceptions to this rule: if your child has been identified with (or you suspect) learning difficulties, or if you can’t (for what ever reason) help with your child's work, or even if your child’s teacher has identified that a tutor may help them at this stage. With all of these examples, I would advise that you seek out a specialist tutor. Getting the wrong kind of tutor at this age could be really detrimental, the ego and self-confidence of a child at this age is fragile and the wrong handling could result in you having bigger problems further down the line. In fact, lots of students I tutor for GCSE are still holding on the negative ideas that they have picked up in primary school. Year 4 - 5 (ages 8-9) We have arrived in 11+ territory, a logistical nightmare. Year 4 would be the absolute earliest I would start working towards these kind of tests. If you child needs more tutoring than this then they are not the kind of child that should go to that kind of school - you could be doing more harm than good. This is the point where I start tutoring, but to be totally honest with you, I hate it. Bearing that in mind I turn down most students for this kind of tutoring. Most parents want the information drilled into their child, and I think this is like putting a plaster over a stab wound. Eventually it is going to peel off leaving you with an even bigger problem. I have a gentler approach, encouraging engagement rather than memorising content. It takes longer, but I find that in the long term it is more effective. If you are not considering 11+ exams then I’m not a big fan of tutoring even at this age - unless you have been advised to. Year 6 (age 10) This is the time where I think tutoring can be really useful. Usually throughout primary school you are told how nice your child is, it doesn’t seem to be till Year 6 that they tell you issues that they may have. Academic progression in the primary years is very dependant on the teacher you have. One bad year can really set your child back, but luckily bounce-back is easier when they are young. Tutoring in year 6 can plug any academic holes they have from primary school whilst getting them ready for secondary school. This ensures that your child is prepared and confident in their work when they move on. Year 7 - 9 (ages 11-13) Lots of students are tutored the whole way throughout Secondary school, this may be a necessity depending on your child. At this point the decision is usually based on your child’s work habits and attitude. Some children will need help to adjust their work load and responsibility, some won’t. It is completely plausible that your child may never NEED a tutor, and although having a tutor seems to be the new trend, it is not always required. Year 9 students may use a tutor to prepare and get ahead for their GCSE years. This can be really useful as it can remove some of the GCSE stress. Year 10 - 11 (ages 14-16) The GCSE years, the first real test. This will most likely be the first time many students have properly done work that has counted towards anything that matters. During this period tutors can be really useful, not only with content but also with motivation and organisation. If your child can learn these skills now then they will carry them through life. Tutors during this period are usually subject specific - but the core subjects (english/ maths/ sciences) are the ones that are most sought after. However, it is important to monitor how your child uses their tutor, many students think that tutors are magic and that by simply ‘having’ one they are suddenly able to pass any exam with flying colours – and it is exactly this line of thinking that can make students lazy. Keep an eye out for this and make sure you are constantly in contact with the tutor so that you know what is going on, and that your child is still doing self motivated work outside of their tutor sessions. Year 12 - 13 (ages 17-18) Tutoring at this age depends on the subjects your child has chosen. The type of tutor at this level is very important. If we take Biology as an example, I would use a tutor that has either just done their A’level (in the last year), a tutor that teaches the A’level regularly or a tutor who has a Biology degree and has a working knowledge of the A’level. The syllabuses change so regularly that you really need someone that knows their topic - otherwise you run the danger of going down the wrong rabbit hole. You know your child better than I do - sometimes you have to trust your gut and do what feels right for your family. As always, this is just a guide. There are people that should be able to give you specific advice about your particular circumstances; School teachers should be able to give you an insight into your child's educational needs. So resist the urge of having a tutor for the sake of it and stop trying to keep up with the Jones’ next door! Work out what is best for your situation - that way everyone will be a winner. Of course I’m always available at the other end of a computer, and if you have any questions feel free to email me, I’m more than happy to help.

When I started to write, everyone told me to tell my story, but I never thought it was relevant. I didn’t understand how my struggles could help anyone – I thought that I was an exception rather than the rule and so, no one would be interested. And then I tried to connect with students online other than just my private students. Suddenly, a whole new world opened up to me, a world of disillusioned students, students dealing with depression, students that don’t know how to cope, students that don’t feel like they would ever be able to cope. Anxiety is knocking on a lot of students’ doors – and the higher they go in education the easier it is to let it in. So finally, I’ve decided to tell my story. Even if what I have to say helps just one student, then it will be worth it. Let me set the scene, I had a relatively normal upbringing. I lived in a house with two parents, nothing particularly hardcore. Primary school was uneventful, but I was relatively “clever” so I got into a Grammar school. I was a lazy but average student, the class clown, irritating to some, but generally liked by most. I never really had any problems with mass bullying. I had the standard school life. Then my parents decided to get divorced. The decision came just before my GCSEs, and although they took a hit, I still managed to get ok grades. The real aftershock came when it was time to do my A-levels. During that summer I spiralled into what I can now identify as depression. My mother, understandably so, was not coping with the sudden breakdown of her marriage, so our already turbulent relationship became more tempestuous. She was either screaming and throwing my things on the floor, or lying in bed not eating and crying. I was torn between love and hate for her, and with all the conflicting emotions, I just couldn’t cope. So I started drinking. A sip of vodka in the morning would take the edge off the day. One drink turned to two, turned to three, turned to four. My mother was convinced I was on drugs, and if I can be completely honest, I’m sure that if I had fallen in with the wrong crowd I probably would have been. There were often nights where I would dangle my legs out of the third floor window wishing I could end it all. By the time summer was over and I had to go back to school, I was a mess. I thought I had an incredible ability to act normal in certain situations. I saw myself as being happy and smiley, working hard at school and conveniently falling apart at home where none of my friends could see. What was actually happening was that I was drinking and chain smoking before school would start, popping to the pub at lunch time to top up and then having another drink when I got home. I thought I had it under control and under wraps, but then it all started to unravel. My peers began to notice. I say ‘peers’ and not friends because although my friends noticed, random people in my classes noticed too. People I didn’t really know or speak to noticed. I’d get the odd comment here and there: Why do you always smell like a brewery? Why are you always asleep in class? Why do you never want to go home? I brushed it off - dismissed their comments, told them to not be so nosy. Then my friends staged an intervention. One met me at the bus stop in the morning. She just asked me two simple questions: “Are you ok? Are you happy?” I told her to not ask me that question, so she kept asking until I could no longer hold back the tears. She scooped me into her arms and took me to school. There waiting for me was a classroom of friends, all desperate to help. The second I saw them I ran away to curl up by the lockers and cry. They had exposed me - they had stripped me bare and revealed the cry for help that I was so desperate to hide. I just couldn’t cope with the love they were trying to give me. One friend followed me and told me that she was my sister and if I ever needed her, or any of them they would be there. I really thought I had everything under control, but what had actually been happening was a different story. I had been turning up late most days for school, missing meetings with teachers, writing my name on my actual A-level exam papers and falling asleep for the duration of the whole exam. I was in school but I wasn’t present in any way. The school eventually threw me out – and so did my mother – a school year was gone and wasted. At the time, I genuinely believed that it was the end of the world for me – but looking back I can see that it was just a blip – and I had many more blips along the way. After all of this, I was determined to go to university, and although it may have taken me longer to get there, I made it regardless. If you have a dream and you think that everything is working against you don’t lose faith, hold that dream tight and don’t let go. Try and surround yourself with as many good people as possible and never refuse help. Things may take you longer than you wanted them to but getting there is the goal. No one person goes through the same journey in life. This doesn’t only apply to hardships in life, this applies to failure also. I once knew a student that redid his A-levels three times so he could get into medical school, and when he couldn’t get into one in the UK he went abroad. Many other people would have quit, and many people told him to quit - but he never let go of his dream - it was in his heart that that was what he was meant to do. So with grit, determination and hard work he got there. It is important to remember that you are not alone, there are thousands of students like you, and sometimes those that are smiling the hardest on the outside are crying rivers on the inside. I was very lucky that I had a network of people, my friends that supported me in ways that they still don’t realise. You may not be that lucky, you may have lost everything and everyone - but still in those moments of darkness try and keep hold of your light. Sometimes our dreams are all we have, and if we can find a little courage they can carry us through.

Being a tutor, I have met a lot of parents: corporate parents / super parents / feral parents / tiger parents / helicopter parents - you make up a name for it, I’ve seen it. But behind all of the parental bravado, all parents fundamentally want the same things for their kids - the best - whatever your definition of that is. So it doesn't surprise me that a lot of parents help their kids with their homework where they can. This can be innocent enough, the odd question here or there, but there are also the hardcore parents who have graduated from the odd question to essentially doing the child's homework for them. For me, though the intention comes from the right place, the approach is all wrong. 'What’s wrong with that?' you may cry - the kid is only (place here any age from 3 to 16). Here is the moment I insert a toddler analogy. When you are teaching a toddler a certain skill there are many schools of thought. Let's take cutlery as an example. Do you chose to let them experiment on their own, or you feed them yourself? This conundrum was one that was always in the back of my head, one that led me to question whether I had ever seen an adult not know how to use a fork. You can insert most phrases here for basic skills: Have you ever seen an adult that can’t - go to the toilet / sleep on their own / dress themselves? - the list goes on. For study, the same principle does not apply, because when I ask myself - Have you ever seen a university student struggle because they don’t know how to study? The answer, unfortunately, is YES. Whatever your reason for doing it - whether you think you are genuinely helping / want your child to show their best for school / don’t want the drama about homework - you need to stop. I never advocate “helping” with homework; It usually becomes a vicious cycle of disappointments. You help your child, the teacher can't see that the child is struggling, the child then doesn't receive extra help at school but thinks that they can do it (because you are always "helping"). Eventually, a test comes up and when the child inevitably doesn’t perform as expected, both the child and teacher are disappointed. You panic and start giving more "help". Rinse and repeat. There are lots of ways that you can help without “helping”. If your child is struggling, tell the school - that’s their job! So to all the mums and dads out there, cut the apron strings and let your child fly solo academically - given time I’m sure their ability will start to amaze you. However, it's important to be realistic, your child will sometimes fail, mess up and get lost, but that is all part of life and the learning experience. As parents you can be there emotionally to pick up the pieces, dust them off and set them on their way again. Trust me, they can handle it. In my experience, I have actually found that it is the parents that have a hard time letting go of the homework control, rather than the child having problems with their new independence. It may take a couple of weeks but the children tend to flourish as they start to realise that they can do things on their own and get them right; a sense of pride kicks in. I think children by their very nature are adaptable and resourceful, whereas parents are more stuck in their ways, but when they start to see this new confidence in their children then the letting go of control always gets easier. Of course, I am not suggesting that you stop parenting your children, just stop spoon-feeding them academically. There are many ways that you can help without "helping": listening to their reading, time organisation, creating the perfect study environment, providing emotional support, and showing them how to maximise their resources among many other things. If a child learns how to learn early, then they will reap the benefits of it throughout their academic careers. So when other children are flapping at exam time, the independent learners will already have it covered. When other students are struggling with the step up in a subject, the independent learner already knows the techniques that work for them to take it to another level. There are loads of things that parents can do to help their children help themselves. Firstly, as parents you can make the working environment as concentration friendly as possible. A dedicated area for study is a really good idea, if you have the space to do it. It should be a quiet space with little/no distractions, it should be well lit and fully stocked with all your resources. Whilst your child is using the space you can provide some healthy refreshments as needed, so the temptation to “get a quick snack” is averted. If you don’t have the space for this then I advise getting a desk bag/box, This is a bag/box with all the resources that a desk may have. This way, when the dining table has to become the desk they just need the bag/box and they have everything that they need - no need to get up every five minutes to get something. Once you have created this environment you now have to get them to use it, set times of the day for periods of work, this is easier the younger you start. That way they know that that time is always work time. If there is no homework, then some reading is a good substitute when they are young, or reading ahead of class if they are older. For younger kids think of this time as quiet time. As they get older and the work load increases this is something you can sit down and do together, so they don’t feel they are being dictated to, work as a team. Once you get them working at the same time, in the same place for a period of time, they will start to do it automatically and the nagging will slowly fade away, but you have to stick at it and not give up at the first moan. So now they are in the perfect space, at the set time and they are actually starting to work. Suddenly, your child has a problem that they can’t do - DON'T solve it. Ideally, you want to encourage your kids to be self sufficient learners and try and work through things themselves. You want them to exhaust all of their resources before they come to you. Being told the answer to something is the quickest, but also the laziest way of working out a problem. More often than not if the child comes across a similar problem again they still won’t know how to solve it. Encourage self-discovery and self-sufficiency when it comes to learning, and when that has been exhausted, then (and only then) you can step in. Instead of showing them how to do it, ask them open ended questions that can guide them to the answer, so that they are thinking through the problem, rather than passively listening to you. This makes the process more active so that they are more likely to remember what you have shown them at a later date. If you don’t know something don’t fake it. It is very reassuring to know that your parents don’t know it all and can be honest about it. What you can then do is show them how you would use the resources to find the answer, then you can discover the answer together. Everybody's circumstances are different, so you should adapt this method to fit your own family situation. There will be some children that won’t need any of this as they are already doing it successfully on their own, or there will be certain kids that will fight you every step of the way - you know your family better than I do. This is just a framework that I use with my clients - I’m not saying that it suddenly makes everything easy, but it definitely helps. In fact, the hardest thing is for the parents to let go of helping with everything, but don’t worry, you can do it. My proudest moments as a tutor are when I have a student that has progressed massively, and they turn to thank me. I quickly remind them that actually, I didn’t teach them any content, in fact, they did it all by themselves. Watching that penny drop moment is priceless, and at that point I know my job is done. We all have moments when things are extra hard and we need additional support, but the more independent the child is academically the more likely they are to brush it all off and get back on that horse.

Throughout my tutoring career, one of the most common questions I get asked by students is “What is the best way to study?” Find out my answer here.

Ok, I’m going to start with a disclaimer: This is an issue that irritates me. I give the same advice every year, and every year it is ignored. And every year those same students who ignored my advice come crawling back to me, wishing they’d followed my advice. So yes, this is a topic that grinds my gears. Let’s make things clear; good GCSE’s don’t always equal good A-levels. For the vast majority of subjects the depth and intensity of the work increases significantly from GCSE to A-level. This is taken one step further, particularly in regards to STEM subjects. I have often heard physics described as a completely different subject at A-level – and for me, that is certainly what it felt like. So as the subjects step up A-level, it’s imperative for you as students to step up your game. This is the part of the article where I tell you a cautionary tale – although this one has a happy ending. Throughout my tutoring career I always have a few students that I call my “Golden Crew”. These students trust me implicitly; when I say do X, they do X, Y and Z – they are grafters. From the outside, it appears that these students are just gifted; they do well in all their tests and still find time to have fun. But let me break it to you - these students aren’t gifted – they are well oiled machines. They work like it’s their profession, so this allows them down time. This particular student was tutored for maths GCSE and I was pleased, but not surprised, when she got all A*’s. We had discussed A-levels and I gave her the one piece of advice I give all of my GCSE students - if you are going to pick a STEM subject then begin reading before the school year starts. I told her, as I do all my students, to get ahead of the game. As this girl was one of my “Golden Crew” I was confident that I would never hear from her again, she had work ethic and motivation in spades. Fast forward, and half way through October I received a panicked phone call. “Oh my days fam, I’m literally drowning… I can’t catch up – it’s all too much!” She had picked biology as her “fun” subject and was lost in the sheer volume of content. I asked her if she had followed my advice, and of course, the answer was “Nah Jade, I didn’t think I had to!”. Now you can see why this topic irritates me. If you were wondering what happened in the end, then there is no need to worry – we did some intense catching up sessions, focused on the content and concepts she was struggling with, and patched everything up. She is now one of my only students to have got 100% on an A-level paper – in fact, she even called me up on my honeymoon to tell me… #inappropriate. GCSE and A-level grades are not mutually exclusive. Just because you performed at a certain level in the past that doesn’t guarantee the same success in the future. So, as always, I’m going to give you some handy tips to help you make the leap, so you can bridge the gap to become the leader of the pack. Although this is targeted to STEM subjects, these tips can be applied to any subject. Firstly, you need to pull your head out of festival mode in time to work. Summer is great right? Festivals, parties and other indulgences seem like bliss after the stress of GCSE’s so enjoy those moments fully while they are happening, in fact, party like there is no tomorrow. But, when summer is over, and you’ve set your alarm for the school day in September, it’s important to remember when it’s time to work. You need to be fully in those moments of work too. Many students don’t fully drop their fuzzy summer thinking till two weeks into school. When it comes to A-levels you need to be on it straight away - or even ahead of time. Secondly, read ahead – please read ahead. If I walked into a class and heard “pyruvate combines with coenzyme A in the link reaction to produce acetylcoenzyme A” for the first time I would need time to process it. It may be that by the time I had processed that sentence, the class would have already moved on to ”synthesis of ATP by oxidative phosphorylation is associated with the transfer of electrons.” What? What? What? I’d be lost – and once you’re lost in a lesson, it’s almost impossible to regain your focus. If I had read about aerobic respiration before class and written some basic notes, I would have a rough idea, which would give me the opportunity to fully engage in the class. Some students don’t really start working till they start revision – unfortunately, the harsh truth of the matter is that this is too late. You really need to start working from before you think you need to – so from the very beginning. Let me define what I mean by work. What I don’t mean is late night cramming and working every second of the day. By work, I’m referring to a structured and steady approach, which means that you are constantly ahead of your game, rather than always chasing your tail. This can be different for different students, but I advocate something like the following: review before class and write basic notes, engage in class, review after class and complete notes, collate information at the end of each topic (flashcards/mindmaps). If you follow this all the way through the course then by the time exams roll around then you will have every thing ready, you won’t need to waste your time making things to revise from. Remember, it was the tortoise that won the race - not the hare. Even if you follow this method there will still be topics that you may not fully understand. At this point it is important to remember that no student is an island: ask for help. It may feel like your teachers are always busy, but if they can see that you have put in the time to try and understand they are usually more than happy to fill in the gaps. I will never forget the first time I went to my University lecturer for real help rather than lazy help - he gave a surprised look and said, “You’ve really been working through this haven’t you”. I felt so proud, and I think he did too. We spent an hour talking over the concept, and because I already knew what I was talking about, I left the session with complete confidence. This also applies to your coping strategies. Get your family to support you – often studying can be a lonely and isolating place – having people around you can be the prop that you need to get through it. Put a copy of your timetable up where everyone can see it and that way everyone can help you stay on track. So there you have it, my best piece of A-level advice. I guarantee that if you follow this then your two years will be a breeze. When you see all your peers running round like headless chickens, you will be cruising through the stress like you’re reclining in a chauffeured Bentley.

We are now entering an age where the number of Grammar schools may be on the rise – a phenomena that is causing some rabid backlash. However, as a former grammar school girl, I am (unsurprisingly) not foaming at the mouth over the idea. In fact, I am already considering the grammar school option – and my daughter is only two. Personally, I believe that there is room in schooling for all three models: private, comprehensive and grammar. It was at the tender age of 10 that I first visited the girls’ grammar school that I went to and, instantly, I fell in love. The school was small, and all the girls seemed pleasant and polite. In comparison, my local comprehensive scared me. For tiny ten-year-old me, the school seemed massive and so did the kids; as they ran around the school shouting and laughing, I couldn’t help but be intimidated by their overwhelming presence. I remember being so pleased when I got into the grammar school, and I wasn’t disappointed when term started, in fact, I loved it. The school really did seem perfect for me. There was a good mix of girls, all the classic types you expect to find at a girls school, the plastics, the musicians, the geeks, the clown… Of course, this is not to say the school was faultless, and I’m sure there were many who weren’t as besotted as I was, but as is the case with schools, it’s impossible to please everyone. The school took pride in it’s academic excellence, and both the teachers and pupils were, mostly, brilliant (although, I imagine it is much easier to be a fantastic teacher if all your students are highly academically capable). The name of the school opened many doors for me – even after my degree potential employers were still impressed by my secondary school. However, despite all the benefits that the school provided over the years, it ultimately failed me. When I was swimming smoothly through life, the school worked wonders for me. I was the type that needed to be pushed to work, and that was what the school offered. They pushed and pushed for me to fulfil my potential, always stressing the need to get the top grades, always inspiring me to work harder. But as I started my A-levels the waters became more and more choppy until it felt less like I was swimming and more like I was drowning. My parents were going through a divorce and as my home life got ugly, I struggled to cope. I was feeling the knock on effects of my home-life on my schoolwork. At the time, I thought I was concealing my problems well, but my friends had noticed that something was wrong, wrong to the extent that they tried to stage an intervention to help me identify the problem. However, the relationship that I had had with the school that initially helped push me to reach my potential, felt more like it was pushing me under. My teachers noticed nothing except my failing grades, and their solution was blunt: drop a subject or get out. Even at the time I was stunned by their reaction. The fact that I smelt like a brewery most days and could barely stay awake in lessons should have been the scream for help that alerted them to the fact that something was deeply wrong, especially since they had known me for five years. At a time when I was struggling with abandonment, the only other people in a position of authority offered more of the same. Rather than engaging with the nuance of my situation, they exposed the ugly side of maintaining the ‘academic excellence’ that they were known for, academic excellence that came at the expense of the pastoral care that they should have been offering their students. Their behaviour cut me deeply, and I’m still left with the scars. Ultimately, I was saved not by grammar school, but by college. Within a couple of weeks of attending my Biology teacher and personal tutor noticed that I wasn’t ok, pushed until I opened up to her, and got me the help I needed. By addressing my issues and opening up, I was able to get the grades I needed to get into University. Initially, I thought that I was an isolated case, but throughout my tutoring career I have seen more and more students struggling with the same issues. My grammar school set me up for life academically but crippled me emotionally, which meant that I couldn’t cope with the challenges that my academics made me face. Of course, this issue isn’t isolated to grammar schools, but the intense pressure for grades amplifies it. As a tutor I see this all the time, so much so that I would say that the two most common slips in grades are due to bad teaching or emotional glitches. It saddens me because the situation doesn’t seem to be improving. In fact it seems to be getting worse. Despite there feeling like there are more systems in place, the attention and care is waning. So, will these new grammar schools teach my daughter academically and emotionally - or will it still be a case of teaching to test? Will holistic methods creep into the ethos of the schools, or will they be staunchly academic, at the cost of all else? Will they be an engine for the masses to climb the social ladder or a tool to keep the ‘lower classes’ firmly in their place? With an ever-growing fixation on tutoring for the 11+ exams I can see nothing but segregation in the future. Those that can afford tutoring get accepted, those that can’t, don’t. The only solution that I can think of would be to go back to mass nationwide 11+ exams, but realistically this seems unlikely. After the 2008 recession, I noticed an increase in 11+ tutoring requests. All the parents that would have previously sent their children to private school could no longer afford it and this was their plan B. The responsibility of this does not wholly lie with the teachers, but with the whole system. Teachers can only engage with their students fully if they have breathing space. So to the next generation of “must do better, must work harder” grammar schools, I say this: teach the future generations a love of learning within a space of academic excellence, rather than forcibly shoving academic excellence down their little throats as the magic remedy for all their ills.